Thai Days #2: The Holies and Unholies of Bangkok

Jetlagged, we woke up around 14:30 pm and rushed to the street for breakfast, thinking we lost half of the day. Khaosan Road is a main party street in Bangkok, crazy at night but so peaceful and quiet during the day. Pedrito and I had a serene breakfast while I contemplated his not-so-often-smiling face. I told him that today, I will have a smile-counter for him to have some statistics. This moment of serenity was not an indicator of the next 12 hours in this crazy city.

We had no plans and no to-do. We started walking randomly in one direction until a tuk-tuk offered us a tour for 40 Bhat (which is around 1.25 Swiss dollars). As Piotr (we also call him Pedrito) said when I asked him about the program, “He can take us where the fuck he wants”. Our first step was a tiny temple with some golden Buddhas. After 30 seconds of looking at the first Buddha temple, you ask yourself, “Now what?”. At this golden moment, a middle-aged Thai man who looked like he had a decent job entered and did some bowing, then came to us to strike up a small conversation. He said we were lucky to be in this temple because it opens one day per year, that Thai people come there when they start a new business or get married to get blessings, that he drove 13 hours for his brother’s wedding, and asked about the program of our tour and said that the planned visit to a textile “factory” was lucky since they had a promotion for custom-tailored suits. He wished us luck and went away while we took our tuk-tuk to the factory, which turned up to be a regular tailor shop with high prices, and the whole thing is a scam. Our tuk-tuk driver confessed that the tailor shop gives them coupons for the gas station to fill the tuk-tuk with gas for the whole day. Our next stop was a “tourist information center” which also turned out to be a scam. The woman lied when I asked her whether this “center” was affiliated with the government. When I said, i don’t want to book any tours, and I just want information,” she said something in Thai that I imagine meant, “Get the F* out, you cheap tourist.”. Our next stop was a Big Buddha temple. Pedrito reached the top of his enthusiasm when he said in a monotonic voice, “Yeah. It is big”.

We then took a boat trip in the canals of Bangkok. For me it was a movie in the cinema. Passing by houses of different economic statuses. Some poor ones that barely have some metal as a roof, and just beside them are glass-walled lofts or villas. It was very interesting to watch people doing random things in their decks; most of the time I had no idea what the person was doing. Some of the houses were shops selling unidentifiable things. This trip triggered a few philosophical conversations between me and Pedrito about the spectrum of human happiness. I pondered how many of them, probably poor, seemed to have a very slow pace of life that was difficult to imagine being stressful. Check this youtube viedeo about the boat tour.

After the tour we walked around, again randomly in any direction. Which took us to a live music concert with a local market, then we found ourselves in a flower market, which is a whole street selling flowers. I assumed it is since Buddhist people use flowers a lot in their temples and offerings.

Crazy things happen all the time. Timing is mostly crazier. The moment Pedrito and I were waiting to cross a street, a motorbike came fast and hit another motorbike with a couple that wanted to turn. Since the second one was at an angle, the second motorbike was kicked away, and the couple that was sitting on it flew in the air and landed on the asphalt. A surreal scene for us. We rushed to the scene to see if help is needed. The girl on the floor was holding her stomach, but nobody seemed to be badly injured. The locals took care of the situation.

We spent the rest of the evening in our party street, where we ate dinner twice, once on a rooftop, and got a full-body Thai massage. Khaosan Road started showing us crazy things, with ladyboys dancing erotically in a bizarre scene. Plenty of food stalls, and many of them selling barbequed insects and scorpions. Grilled crocodile meat! Many offers for sex-shows and etc. Even the wrist bands they sell had bizarre writings like “I rape gay retards”, and “I love irish cunt”. It was easy to conclude that this street is exactly what was meant in all the holy books when God sent his wrath down upon the earth.

The maximum smile from Pedrito

“An electrician’s wet dream” as Pedrito says