India - Adham's Blog

Habibindia 07: The days after The Day, the Transgender and Taj Mahal

Surrender your hands to hers…
She will embrace them with grace..
She will take you to new places..
and teach you new ways..
Cheers to her hands..
and to her..

Day Wedding+1: The sickness

Today I wanted to rest. Having immersed myself in the wedding days and interacting with the group, my body started to loose its strength and integrity. The group is planning to visit Amritsar where the Golden Temple is and follow that by visiting the Indian Pakistani borders where a special ceremony takes place everyday. I knew I would miss these events but I also knew that going there would be an extra load for my strengths.
I spent the day reading, writing and sleeping. My companion book is “The House of God” which is a diary of a medical intern during his internship year. Full of irony and beautifully written, this book attracted me since the first page. I found myself writing down quotes from every page. I borrowed it from Morad, my brother, after he told me many times: “You should read this book” and he is right.
I almost recovered, had I not had lunch in a restaurant beside the hotel. In addition to my sore throat (resulting from a mixture of shouting and screaming during the wedding dances and the dust in the air), I acquired also some stomachache which grew stronger with time. Well, I don’t really think it was stomachache. My theory is that it is intestinal pain and it could be probably due to intolerance of some of the spices or the ingredients used in my meal. The pain was completely gone in the next day with no traces. Hmm, maybe some psychological caution of eating traditional or local food.
Meanwhile, my friends in Amritsar had a great time at the temple and the Paki border 🙂 Here are some of their photos:

In the evening, Diljit and Alvi picked me up to go and meet the group in a cultural complex in Jalandhar. The complex, Haveli is a mini-village that shows the history and culture of Punjab using real-sized statues and constructed rooms. Here are some images from google image if you are too lazy to google it yourself:

There was also a band performing some traditional dance on an elevated stage. Under the stage there was a sign stating that dancing is forbidden for visitors and that it is only for the band. This tells you how much Punjabis like to dance 😀

We had then a very traditional dinner inside where various dishes were served in metal plates and brass jars. Unfortunately, I couldn’t really eat much due to the instability of my inner organs!

I felt a bit worse.. going back to the hotel, I found myself with my clothes undercover and shivering! I was sick! My mind was getting alternating between lucid and hazy at times. This brought me the attention my other group members who rushed to provide me with several medicines and wishes of getting better soon. This helped me.. This also touched me since I felt their real and genuine care and love. We are nobodies without the people we love.
I slept and slept deep. This was enough to make me fresh in the next morning.. I felt liberated from my stomach/intestine/whatever it is problem and only having the throat problem.. Today, we go to Delhi!

Day Wedding+2: Transgender experience

We checked out, had a small breakfast and split into two groups. Daniel, Lena, Justus, Heike and Filip will drive back to Delhi while Christina, Merve and I will fly later in the day. Sibylle flies back tomorrow. The 2nd group + Sibylle went to Diljit’s house for a bye-bye time before heading to the airport. There we found a lot of beggars at the front door playing music and waiting for alms from the new wedded couple.
Particularly interesting is a tradition that transgender/hermaphrodites come to the newly married couples and ask for a big sum of money! This was a bit of an experience for us. He/She walked around the house yard in an exaggerated feminine steps and coarse manly facial features that were smoothed by some makeup work. She danced to the music of the accompanying group and every now and then sat on Diljit’s lab and gave a kiss on his cheek. I was discussing with Merve in the background how much she would accept to kiss her/him and we were discussing various prices for various levels of kiss qualities. Merve was not willing to kiss her/him a real kiss for any price. Later during the dance, the transgender came to me and asked me to dance with her/him. To my surprise, I didn’t feel very strange. She/he is just a person after all. This whole tradition is to compensate them for the social rejection and negligence which they consistently receive everyday. At some point, he/she asked me to kiss him/her on the cheek! Oh.. I didn’t see that coming.. I remembered immediately my conversation with Merve and asked kiss-seeker for 1000 rupees.. (S)he/ didn’t seem to mind, so I raised the price to 10,000 rupees (around 150 euros). (S)he also seemed ok with it. So I said to myself, “fuck it, let’s do it”. As soon as I leaned towards her/him, (S)he backed off and seemed to shy out.. I was not sure if (S)he was even afraid! ohh my..

The rest of the day was driving to the airport, flying to Delhi and then renting a car to drive to Agra where we spent the night. However insignificant this sounds, in India, you are constantly surprised. Here and there you find things like a man on a bicycle with a monkey behind him. An elephant walking down the street.
We needed to rest a bit, tomorrow will be our visit to Taj Mahal, a guide will accompany us for the morning and in the afternoon we will go back to Delhi.

Day Wedding+3: Taj Mahal

Our driver picked us up from the hotel. Merve and Christina looked a bit fresher than I did. We drove together through agra where cows on the streets were in a similar count to cars. We picked up Mohammed Wassim, our guide. He was nice, wise and confident and accompanied us during the morning.

At Taj Mahal, Mohammed and we skipped all the lines directly to the ticket window. Sometimes, he waved local indians to empty the way as if they were flies. Which seemed verrry wrong. We had conflicting feelings; this was good for us since it will cut all the unnecessary waiting times but on the other hand it was just wrong. Disrespectful. The locals, however, didn’t seem the tiniest annoyed by this. They took it very normally and casually and made some space. This is not very novel here. You can often see people treated really badly and they seem to accept it or to expect it.

Taj Mahal is a beauty. It is my 2nd visit and I still enjoy looking at it. Being a Muslim heritage piece dedicated for love, it had some romantic connections. Mohammed explained a lot about the history, the construction and other details about the palace which I won’t write here since I wrote most of them in my last trip (you can read here). Mohammed sounded very authoritative some times: “Stand here”. “Leave the water here”. He was also very specific about where to stand and wait for him and sometimes he asked us to move a meter or so. I found this somehow entertaining.

We had our trip around the place where Mohammed took many photos of us. Some of them are very touristy:

We had some chats with Mohamed about his life and his family. He comes from Kashmir and wants to get married to a beautiful woman called Zaira. We then had lunch, did some shopping and then hit the road to our hotel in Delhi to spend our last night.

It was almost the end of our group travel. Merve, Christina, and I! We had a bye-bye dinner together in one of the malls where above-average class indians were hanging out to some DJ music. It was a pleasure to travel with these beautiful ladies. It was enriching, simple and easy going. I would like to express my happiness and honour to get to know them and establish a long-lasting friendship among the three of us.

Everything comes to an end.. but ends mark new beginnings.. and the end of this trip is the beginning to another chapter of my travel solo. Tomorrow I fly to Nepal after the girls fly back to Germany. Tomorrow I will be praying for new adventures, life-lessons and some time of reflection..

Habibindia 06: The Wedding Day!

When the looks locked..
Streams flowed..
Meanings exchanged..
and words were rendered unneeded..

We suited up.. we tried to look beautiful.. today is the day that we have been waiting for, literally, years! The ladies wore traditional punjabi suits and we headed to Diljit’s house. The wedding days were studded with various rituals that included rubbing Diljit with different materials like Yogurt and some yellow stuff. Always accompanied with prayers and blessings. Diljit and Alvi are now being prepared for the wedding…

The men in our group were crowned with the traditional turbans. PINK turbans! 😀 Do you think we look sexy?

This is NOT a modern family of a gay couple and a baby

Diljit appeared with his cousin on the sound of music and a lot of dancing.. Dancing filled the times.. between the meals.. whenever we were waiting.. whenever Diljit moved from point one to point two.. I have never danced so much in a few days in my life.. I have never danced so joyfully in my life..

Diljit looked like a fairy tale prince.. with a sword and a miniature copy of him, his cousin, following him according to the traditions. They started by riding a horse that was covered with florally decorated cloths. Both Diljit and his cousin were wearing a kind of vest made of rupees in a beautiful Origami patterns.

We drove to the Sikh temple in Tanda where the religious ceremony was planned. We had to take our shoes off and wash our hands before entering. It is a big complex that looks like a temple. I mean, you know, mosques, churches, temples.. They have many similarities.

Upon entering the temple, we gave some money (that we received from the parents) some place and to the people running the ceremony. Men and women took different sides and sat on the carpet-covered floor. The ceremony started by some music accompanied prayers and readings of the Sikhs holy book. Well, I don’t really remember much of what happened since I was fighting my sleepiness that almost threw me off my balance. I have to admit that sometimes I tried intentionally to sleep since I didn’t understand anything anyway.

Alvi came inside the temple in an overwhelmingly beautiful dress, jewellery and decorations. She sat beside Diljit and some religious rituals were performed that included going around the book four times, tying some knots that represent the holy bond of marriage. It was a remarkable ceremony that I am happy that I was part of. In Egypt, marriage has a very short religious part (10 minutes or so) and then party for one night. Thats practically it. In Punjab, marriage is a long story of sequences and events that makes sure your bond is permanent since you worked hard for it!

Most beautiful couple picture I have ever seen

After the ceremony, we drove the wedding hall. Where A big stage, a dance floor, many sitting tables were organised. A big grass garden outside filled with food and drink stalls for the big number of visitors. A lot of food and drinks for everybody. Outside the hall, before entering, were more traditional events and rituals. Alongside the musical melodies of the band, The two families exchanged gifts and blessings. This happened by selecting two individuals from each team and they had to exchange gifts and blessings. It looked like the two captains of football teams exchanging the team flags before commencing the match. We took part of some of this exchange as well.

To enter the hall, the ladies of Alvi’s family had to block it! He had to negotiate an amount of money to be able to enter. Another tradition that represent that the seeker has to work hard to earn his beloved wife.. and also to pay all of his money 😀

We ate, we danced, we drank, we danced, we had photos, we danced, we talked to the families, we dance. A lot of local family members and visitors took photos with us, the foreigners, especially with our beautiful ladies. I was somehow excluded from this usual phenomenon. I didn’t attribute this to my lack of beauty or visual appeal but to the similarity of my facial features to the local community and my lack of blondness and blue-eye-ness. However, this model collapsed when a woman asked to take my photo with her baby! not even with the woman herself but with the baby! well.. at least something..

At the end was dinner and was driving home.. where we spent a short time at Diljit’s house and extended our wishes for the couple to have a great life and blessed future. The day was long and nice. I felt a sweet exhaustion and wanted to sleep. My throat is injured from shouting during dancing and a bit worse by the dust. I decided that the next day will be my rest. To recover my health and reflect on the eventful few days that I have spent so far..

Diljit was finally married!

Habibindia 05: Prince and dance!

Like the sea, blue, deep and full of secrets.. I yearn to dive and to collect the pearls..
Her eyes..

They call him Mister India, and he calls himself Prince. A strong muscular 20 years old that looks like 30. With a well shaped mustasch and well kempt beard. He invited all of us to his house for breakfast. His father is Diljit’s father’s cousin and he has a sister and a brother. In their house, we enjoyed a tasty local breakfast that filled our stomachs for some time. Prince pops up from his peers. With his fitness-model body and broad enjoying smile while dancing, with his sense of fashion and his Royal Enfield. His plan is to go to Canada and study fitness nutrition to go back and help his community. He just wants to make his parents proud, he said.

After the breakfast we walked a short distance to Diljit’s house where a big pink tent was constructed. Inside the tent, a place was designated to the Guru Granth Sahib, the Sikh’s holy book. And a small religious band that plays the accordion and percussion on the sounds of prayers. As we sat there, not understanding much, the locals hummed with the prayers. I later came to know that they didn’t understand much either. But probably the prayers made them feel good. After the ceremony, a priest gave a long speech to the attendants. I was lucky to have prince sitting besides me and translating the content. I must admit that before that, my knowledge about the religion was limited to what Diljit told us over his delicious dinner evenings. Listening to the priest, I saw the similarities to other religions. Prince was explaining that all the roads lead to God, no matter what is the path. After the speech, Christoph and I were invited to give small talks to the attendants about Diljit for the wedding occasion.

After this ceremony, Prince invited me to take a tour on his motorbike, Royal Enfield, aka, Bullet 🙂 In the first minute of him riding in the streets of Dasuya, I started making my prayers and promises to God in the very possible case I meet Him soon!
Prince showed me his collage, his gym and we went to fill the tank. There was also McDonalds and Subway.
We rode in the superb of Dasuya. We changed turns and stopped here and there for a photo-shooting session. Prince is good looking and photogenic. We rode up some hills with enchanting views. Places I would have never visited as a tourist. I felt lucky, I felt thankful. Prince kept repeating “Don’t say thank you brotha”.. In a couple of hours, I felt we developed a deeper friendship. We discussed life and its beauty, dreams and love. It is impressive how a 20 years old in some parts of the world can be much wiser than a 40 years old in other parts.

We rode back to the market where the rest of the group was. Since we didn’t know where they were, Prince asked random people: “Have you seen foreigners?” going around the market with the motorbike, we managed to find our friends in a shoes-shop. They bought scarfs, traditional punjabi clothes and shoes.

A night full of music, dancing and food. In the pink tent, a small stage was constructed and all the locals gave to dancing. Later, everybody accompanied Diljit and Alvi in a parade around the town. He carried some item on his head and went around town to get the blessings of different houses. A small band accompanied the parade with drumming that forces you to shake it shake it.. I wore a traditional punjabi suit gifted to me by my new friend Prince. He gave me a black one and wore a white one which made me think of Ying and Yang somehow.
The parade was back to the pink tent, where more and more dancing was taking places.. man, these people can dance forever.. and they have every right to! Punjabi music is a new favorite for me. You can’t be depressed with Punjabi music! You can’t be sad! A song that was somehow the theme of this trip is Na Ja. Which I grew addicted to and loop it throughout the day.. The guys taught me its nice dance which looks like a flying pigeon.

It was one full day for me.. full of friendship, dance and good mood.. Merve does not want to go back.. She wants to immigrate to Punjab and enjoy the friendliness, the music and the food. Well, this was not it! Next day is the Wedding day.. and it was full!

Habibindia 04: Hello Punjab, the Henna Night

Hello Punjab! compared to other parts of India that I saw, the highways and streets are clean. We arrived to the hotel and decided to rest a couple of hours before we go to Diljit’s house. Today there will be the Henna night. We were joined in the hotel by the rest of Team Tübingen namely, Boss, Sibylle, Justus and Heike, Daniel and Lena, and Filip. We are now 10 people and with two cars we started driving to where Alvi, the bride, and her family were staying.

The henna night is where mainly the bride and the ladies of the families have beautiful floral drawing on their arms and legs by expert henna artists. An abundance of music, food and good laughter makes it a lively event before the wedding. We gave in to the rhythms and joined our new local friends in dancing our asses till midnight. Here and there was a break for him or her. I love Punjabi people. They have good food, good music and a certain chilliness about them that makes you feel that all what you aim at in life can probably not bring you the same happiness they have, just by being Punjabis! Some cultures are just happy. In their eyes, you see dreams, of going to where you live and living in similar conditions. But do they see in our eyes that we have indeed more comfort, but less dreams? We live better but probably live less! I had to love them, envy them and copy their dance style.

While the ladies in our group had the most beautiful of henna drawings and decorations around their hands, the men decided to get tattoo-styled drawings. Justus, Daniel and I have convinced the artists to give us some designs. I was somehow unlucky and got an ugly drawing that seemed a bit like fishbone or a chewed piece of gum. I have to say this made me a bit sour 😀 imagining that this piece of …ehem.. will stay on my arm for sometime, made me at unease. Alvi and Ashley, here sister, convinced me to ask the 2nd artist to fix the situation and improvise a solution. In my opinion, he did a great job by drawing a badass Dragon that had a slightly long ears (donkey-dragon). It was much better than the previous thing that I had on my arm.

We were dead tired.. most not having slept enough which we discovered to be the theme of the trip: A lot of dancing and partying, lack of sleep, and .. waiting 🙂

Daniel + Tribal + (fire? tree? fishbone?)