Adham's Blog

Kenya 2022 | Day 1: What am I doing here?

Here I go.. Here I wander..
Looking for a moment, and a missing answer..
Will we ever fill the void?.. Is it time to surrender?

I booked my flight to Nairobi 4 days ago. Planing does not make sense in these times of uncertainty. I needed to travel.. I needed to travel far.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my life. I love where I am living, and I enjoy what I am doing. I have been blessed by being constantly exposed to sensible souls, brilliant minds and remarkable personalities. However, we frequent travelers are cursed. We crave for the new. I crave.. I crave for a change.
New destinations bring new destinies. New changes that, if you allow, could alter your being. Well, it often happens also when you are not willing to allow it. I didn’t really choose Kenya. It just happened. A combination of a reasonable ticket price, reasonable COVID restrictions for travelers, and the ease with which I could enter the country.

But what am I doing here? I don’t know. I just wanted to expose myself to the universe again and see what comes my way. I have always been fascinated by the concept of “initiative”. Someone starts something. It needs momentum and energy. It requires courage and readiness to fail. Whether it is planning an event, approaching a charming person on the street or just taking a new step. Introducing energy into a system usually generates some beautiful Turbulence: life.
Serendipity, a beautiful word that sounds like gentle, soft kisses.

This quote is also from “The Forty Rules of Love”

In this trip, I am hoping to encounter and challenge some of my fears. I am hoping to think extensively over the views of extended African sands. I am hoping to clean my heart from the entitlement and greed that creeps over it from luxurious privileged high standard living.
My companion on this trip is a re-read; “The Forty Rules of Love” by Elif Shafak. I read this book a decade ago, and it has changed many of my perceptions in life.

I landed early on the 2nd of January. Everything was smooth given my online Visa, COVID19-Vaccination certificate, and negative PCR test, I uber-ed my way to the Airbnb room which was in a quiet fancy neighborhood full of residential compounds surrounded by walls and having security guards on the gates. Sheila received me, showed me the tiny room, as well as the gym and swimming pool that belong to the building. Being in Africa, you come back to the reality that in most of the world things are not perfect. This is not the case in Switzerland, where perfection is constantly aimed at. Here the water tap is leaking unless you use higher power. If you don’t look at the street while walking, you are sure to fall.

I had a light itching that I attributed to my self-diagnosed dust allergy. So I thought I pass by the pharmacy and get myself antihistamines. While checking out I found out that the price is around 2500 shillings, equaling around 20 euros. I thought, how can the regular citizen afford such medicine.. What about antibiotics? You probably need to sell your kidney.. Wait.. What do you do if you need to treat your kidney?

I slept a few hours, went to a relatively fancy restaurant for dinner, and then headed to watch Liverpool game in a mall. People here are nice and friendly. They also speak decent english in general. In my first day, I have a good feeling about this country and its people.

Dust

The theory of dust..
I have just invented..
Or maybe I read it..
in some magazine..

It says that this earth..
is highly committed,
to pulling you down..
deep and within.

That’s why its magnetic..
Reunion of dust..
It’s almost poetic..

But everything dies.
Every. Thing. Ends.
The earth will get back.
all what she has lent..

But wait..

there is heaven..
with angels and souls
It’s properly hidden.
behind some unseen walls..
and mostly forgotten..
between the prayers and moans..

but it has also given..
your soul and your scent..
she also wants back..
what she has once lent..

You try to escape..
You want to exist..
you try finding life..
You try and resist..

in the darkness of cosmos.
in the light of your heaven..
some loves and some hates..
we think all persists

so dust pulls some dust
and soul pulls some soul
laws of attraction..
that always exist..

but,

Everyone dies..
Everything ends..

A moment

A dot at the end of the line..
start a new page..
put a dot after a letter..
flip a couple of pages..
and put another dot..
then reverse and ponder..
maybe you resume where you stopped..
and then release another dot..
and maybe you swing back and forth..
and wonder..
what if I stay with what I have got..
surrender..
i beg you not..
flip a few more pages..
and remember..
where you stopped..
or drop the book altogether..
and come to me..
I have lit the fire ..
and washed the pot..
i will make your tea..
i will serve it hot..
we will sit apart..
in silence..

From the Brain Tumor Clinic

Give me a minute, I will dance again…
I will smile at you..
I will share a story..
I will take you for dinner, and I will pay too.

Give me an hour, we will go for a walk..
We will breathe that fresh air by the river, we will eat grilled chestnuts..
We will laugh and talk..

Give me some more time, and I won’t save a dime.
I will buy myself a ticket, I will buy you one too..
I am not too sad, I just don’t like farewell parties.
I will have a few drinks and then slip away when nobody is watching..
“Oh.. He left. It was nice when he was here..”

Well, here is a memory to keep.
I will tap on your shoulder,
and caress your neck.
Remember these touches,
Unlike me, they are eternal.

It is not what they think..
I am not collecting much pleasure now.
I am trying to leave bits of me behind.
I don’t want to cease to exist.
I don’t want you to forget.

Oh, I guess it is time.

I will put on my favorite socks with bicycle patterns
I will ride my bicycle to that field with the blooming flowers
I will take photos of the yellow ones.. at the time of the sunset..
Just like every spring, when I think they bloom to say:

Adios

Photo: Passing of love, using: photo by Zoe, photo by Danielle Dolson , photo by Julian Hochgesang, photo by Aron Visuals

AdhaMexiCovid 09: Kites at The White Island

Thursday 25.02.2021

In the north of Cancun, there is Isla Blanca. The name means White Island, but it is actually a peninsula. We met Max and Salvador in the gas station then we drove following their truck on a road that was full of holes. Avoiding the holes with our weak rented Chevrolet Aveo was a video-game-like experience. I was worried about the 1000 pesos deposit! We arrived at a virgin beach where it seems that one guy decided to collect 100 pesos per car as entrance fees. This reminds me of Egypt where people forcibly declare some space theirs and force certain kinds of fees. If you argue, they could scratch your car (and you lose the 1000 pesos deposit).The beach was a strip of land dividing the Caribbean Sea and a shallow lagoon where some people were already kite surfing. As soon as we arrived, Marika went for a refreshment tutorial and for a total of 3 hours she was kite surfing, meaning she was playing with water, wind and gravity.I chilled on the shore, took some photography and got sunburned in my calves, which is a strange location for a sunburn!There was a drone-video taken, you can see Marika surfing with the orange kite and you can appreciate the marvelous location in this video:

… and here are some photos as well:

We had to drive back on our own. I made a mistake driving on the beach and ended up stuck in the sand where the car wheels spin in the sand without any movement. We tried putting water and managed to move the car some half a meter. A helpful local saw us and hurried to help us till we managed to freely rejoin the right path. I remembered my growing up in the deserts and how often we got stuck like this in the dunes. I have good memories since sometimes we paused and started singing or having fun while we waited for help.
We spent the second half of the day in Cancun and realized how Americanized it was. Big hotels that even block the sun from the beach. Still, I enjoyed a nice swim while Marika searched for some replacement of her electrolytes. A walk afterwards around the touristic center where they tried to sell us access to 10 shows for 85$ including 15 drinks per person. I assumed they meant alcoholic drinks. Well, They saw our lack of interest and offered us then just 5 drinks at a reduced price. I don’t remember having 5 drinks of any sort in one setting. Not even water. However, I loved the name of the place. It was called Coco Bongo! hmmmm. Please use your “cubreboca” at Coco Bongo.We decided to have some dinner in a local fish restaurant instead where we were bombarded with seafood with live music at a cheap price. It was a fulfilling day, specially for Marika who has surfed in a few countries/continents before. Tomorrow is a day of a lot of driving!

AdhaMexiCovid 08: Mexican Paradise

Do you believe in paradise??

On Monday we went to Akumal, a beach near Tulum where you can snorkel and see turtles. Not far from the shore you can swim with the turtles in their natural habitat. Please don’t step on the sea weed because this is what they eat. I was partly struggling with catching up with our small group consisting of Marika, an older American couple and our snorkeling guide, Daniel. Marika was all the time checking on me to see if I drowned already! We moved from one spot to another sneaking to see turtles, sea eels, corals and colourful fish. I spent half the time trying to breath through this snorkling tube and the other half taking it off and catching air on the surface. I was, nevertheless, very happy with what I managed to see.

During this trip, I have collected a list of favorite Spanish words that sound nice to me. One of them is “chaleco” which means “life jacket”. Maybe not because it sounded nice but rather because of the number of possibilities it allowed me to expediences as a bad swimmer. My most favorite word from this trip is “cubreboca” which is the face mask that we are wearing now because of this shit virus. There is a nice musicality to this word. In Spanish, you can make things smaller by adding “ito” for masculine or “ita” for feminine at the end. For example, doctor becomes doctorito and means “little doctor”, sounds cute. I saw a grill bar called ” infiernito” which translates to “little hell”. I found the translation rhymes even better: ” little hell, BBQ and grill”.

This will be my wallpaper! Animal beach.

With two towels, not the traditional mexican clothes!

Marika excited about tasting tres leches. Kind of a habit since our trip to ecuador.

Tuesday started somehow cloudy and rainy, so we opted for visiting the Grand Cenote near Tulum. A very beautiful Cenote where many turtles are living. Here as well you can swim with the turtles and watch them in different sizes eating and chilling. I counted around 15 turtles chilling on the stones or tree leaves just above the water surface. This Cenote consisted of two parts connected by a cave that you can swim. But that swimming path passes under a lot bats. This part crept me out and I swam this path only once.

Swimming in this Cenote while watching the turtles made me forget life worries. They made me think of Paradise. A place where you are immersed in beautiful nature without worries. I this is not the big motivation I am currently a believer but at that moment i found the concept appealing.
In the afternoon we visited Tulum’s paradise beach. Sand, clear water, sun, palm trees and everyone having a good time. I decided, a regular visit to the seaside is mandatory to maintain my mental health.

On Wednesday we explored playa del Carmen. We didn’t stay there long though as we felt it was more prepared for American tourists. We had a quick meal and headed to Cancun and from there we took the ferry to Isla mujeres, which translates to island of women. A name given by the Spanish colonials upon arriving when they saw a lot of images of women. The images belonged to Ixchel, a goddess of childbirth and medicine in the Mayan culture. We had very little beach time before the sunset then we walked through the market Street with many restaurants. We had such a fine dinner at a good price. I am definitely going to miss the food in Mexico.

These three days of leisure have rejuvenated me. I felt ready to be back to real life after all these experiences but I didn’t actually want to! Well, we still have around 3 days more!

AdhaMexiCovid 07: The Mystery of Cenote and The Healing Curanderos

Sunday 21.02.2021

I went all in. I had a beef sandwich from a street-food stall and followed it with a coconut-juice where the seller used a bucket to get my portion from another container. I trusted the higenic standards in Mexico.

I rented a car and met Marika in Valladolid in a small restaurant in a small unspectacular neighborhood. Still, a lot of tourists passed by. We discussed about what to do. Marika has discovered some Mayan archeological site near Merida and was not excited about seeing more of the same. Chichen itza is the largest site in Mexico but I couldn’t convince her to go there. It was also too hot to be outdoor in that hour of the day. We decided instead to go to a nearby cenote. Wait, what is a cenote? I didn’t know what it was, Marika has visited one yesterday and she then explained to me that it is like a cave under the ground with water in it where you can swim. So we went and it was one of the highlights of my travels so far!
We paid around 120 pesos to access two Cenotes. The first was called Samula. With some wooden stairs you go through a hole into the underground as if you are going into a mine. The basic infrastructure includes also the mining spot lights. It was a big cave with crystal clear water and one opening in the top where magical sun rays sneaked into the cenote. It was surreal. Thankfully forced to wear a life jacket, I could compensate for my in-prpgress swimming skills. The place was mainly full of locals and families and only a few tourists. We took a few photos but I also leave you with a YouTube video:

We also visited the other nearby cenote which was dark and kind of creepy. Since these cenotes had been there for thousands of years, I was sure there were dead bodies underneath. If we were to dive deep enough, we would have probably collected some material for the anatomy lessons!! I actually guess not. Maybe the government has sent divers at some point to sanitize the bottom of the cenote.
The Yucatan peninsula, which is where we are now in Mexico, is full of these cenotes. It is thought that they are thousands connected by a network of underground rivers. It is still a mysterying how they were formed. One theory is that a meteorite hit the earth millions of years ago and created a big explosion and changed the geography of this place, and created cenotes. I chose the following two short videos as well.

We then wanted to go to Tulum, a paradise beach 2 hours from Cancun. But on the way back there is a small archeological site in Coba that we thought we could spontaneously see. As we arrived there and we parked the car in the empty parking meadow, another traveler told us that the site was closed and that he also missed the opening time. We chatted a bit and then decided to go altogether for dinner.
Our fellow traveler, M. from Croatia is travelling around Mexico then will go on his yearly trip to Peru where he studies in a jungle with the Masters of healing, shamans, using the “sacred” ayahuasca plant. He is an alternative medicine therapist in Croatia and believes the the plant has cognition. He says they believe that with the plant you have access to the knowledge of the universe and that through drinking the ayahuasca infusion, you somehow get connected to the plant and also get this access. This is supposedly a process that takes years and they have masters. In the therapy ceremonies, both the “patient” and the healer drink the infusion, then the therapist would be able to see the bad organs. They would even see to the vessel precision. No need to tell your story or your problem. They would simply see it. M. seemed to deeply believe in this. He says he knows many people who got cured after such treatment. We listened attentively to him in what seemed to be a lecture. He didn’t seem to want to know anything about us and focused in passionately conveying his ideas about the metaphysical world of ayahuasca.

We have no idea what cognition is. We have theories, but how we think what we think and our very subjective experience that defines who we are is far from being scientifically understood. Psychedelic drugs alter our perception of the world. Whether they pseudorandomly generate patterns of experiencs or grant us some access to usually-not-accessible inputs, we can not tell. I stay between my skeptical attitude of metaphysics and my personal experiences along with the experiences of some friends that are hard to explain with a sole scientific approach. Besides, who doesn’t like a bit of mystery?

M. told us we have to visit Chichen itza.

We bid our new friend farewell and drove to Tulum. A destination of breathtakingly beautiful beaches and good vibes. We booked our accommodation because it was supposed to be full of travelers, probably with many stories as exciting as that of our friend M. It was indeed full of travelers but mostly around 20 years old with many tattoos and half naked. I might be a bit judgemental here but they didn’t seem to be our kind of folks. We drove to a street food stall where Alejandro and his two assistants prepared us wonderful Tacos. The neighbouring stall with Goumi prepared us a wonderful quesadilla.

AdhaMexiCovid 06: The Magnificent Cañon del Sumidero

Saturday 20.02.2021
No rain today, so it is the Cañon tour day. The bus collected the guests from different hotel and we had a bit more than an hour ride. The group was an interesting mix. I spent the way talking to Jenny from Switzerland, Agnieszka from Poland and Harold from Sweden. We arrived to a small port where we took a small motor boat with a guide and we set in the river in the canyon for around two hours.It was a magnificent natural formation of two mountain chains separated by a river. You feel hugged but also very small and vulnerable. We are small and insignificant. Oscar our guide stopped in different sides to show us crocodiles, monkeys and stone formations. With strong wind against our faces and somehow cloudy sky, I was immersed in imprining the view in my memory. Since I also have trust issues with my memory, I took a couple of photos.

Here is also a video from Youtube of a drone-video of the Canyon

Canyon de Sumidero

I thought about all these years I have not seen such a wonder. First, I didn’t know where such things exist. I also didn’t know how expensive it is to get there. This is why I would like to share with you a simple plan to experience this. First you need a flight to Mexico. Either to Mexico City or to Cancun. From Europe the flights are very cheap currently. For between 300 and 400 Euros. Then take another flight to Tuxtla. Could be around 40 euros. Then get a couple of nights in a hotel or a hostel. You can easily manage with 10 to 20 Euros per night. The tour itself including the transportation, the boat and the guide would cost around 15 euros. When your eyes are happy, satisfy your taste buds with delicious tacos for between 2 – 4 euros. I think such a trip combined with all the things you can experience in this great country is something for the bucket list.

***

After the tour I detached from the group and took a taxi to the airport to fly to Cancun. In Cancun, I spend some time having action with taxi drivers that tried to rip me off. I was pretty pissed off when I went to my very cheap hotel. The hotel was so basic that they didn’t even have a lift. The poor room service lady had to push the cleaning cart on a very long ramp between the floors. I was glad that I didn’t have to do this.
I went to bed early that night. The next day, Sunday, I will reunite with Marika who has discovered Merida on her own and will meet me tomorrow.

AdhaMexiCovid 05: Lovely People in San Cristóbal

Thursday 18.02.2021

I flew in the morning to Tuxtla Gutierrez with a layover in Mexico City. I didn’t visit Tuxtla but rather took a direct microbus to San Cristóbal de las Casas, an old city with colonial flair and cubblestone roads.
The one-hour drive there was curvy through beautiful mountains. Nature is gradually changing from hot desert to more green and forests. I was adviced to visit it by some friends due to its nice atmosphere. It reminds me of Risihkesh, India and slightly of Bali, Indonesia. It has the most number of tourists I saw so far. Besides, it is full of hippies, barefeet white guys and girls who have rasta hair, probably vegan and give you the impression that shower is not accessible. I have the feeling we have very little in common and often think it is a reaction to growing up in previleged societies. I rarely see this from people who were once forced into minimalism by poverty.

The town is colourful and like many places in Mexico abundant of beautiful corners. This is a nation that likes colours and making things look nice.

Looks like Cuba but it is Mexico I have never been to Cuba anyway

In the evening, I met Ivar, a local couchsurfer who took me for a walk around San Cristobal. Ivar was very interesting. He studies his Masters studying obesity in Indiginous communities and its relationship with gut flora. He hosts couchsurfers to be able to see the world untill he manges to travel outside of Mexico. Well, talking about our experiences in couchsurfing, we figure out that he hosted my friend Nenad. Nenad seems to be everywhere. We met first in Venice in 2010 and then he hosted me in Jakarta, Indonesia in 2014 and finally in Quito, Ecuador in 2019. He has been travelling the world for years and everywhere I go, i find his footprints somehow. You can read about our encounter in Jakarta here.

I have planned a visit to the Sumidero Canyon for tomorrow. It is supposed to be a marvel of nature and a must visit while in Chiapas.

****

Friday 19.02.2021

Eggs with mushrooms, toast and marmelade for breakfast. With eggs they always serve you some hot sauce. They also typically eat enchiladas for breakfast. I have no idea how they can tolerate such spicy sauces in the morning. I tasted with caution thinking about later consequences.

A morning walk at 8:00 am is always peaceful. It is dropping very small drops of rain making it in general a very pleasant atmosphere. I went back to the hotel to get to know that the Canyon tour was cancelled because of the weather. I didn’t have plan B. So Marika recommended I take a cooking class. Which I was lucky enough to find in the same day. I booked “cooking with Sofia” experience on Airbnb for the afternoon. Till then I went around the streets strolling and looking for inspiration.

Sofia welcomed me in her kitchen in her cafe/workshop place. Over two hours, she guided me in a culinary trip on preparing chicken tacos as well as her recipes for guacamole and smoked sauce. We cut the ingredients together and she gave me tips on how to choose different ingredients and how to chop or prepare them. Between the steps we exchanged some thoughts and conversations about our lives. She is a very energetic and kind person with passion for food and connecting with people. She also introduces me to pinolillo, a drink based on corn and cocoa. The evening was both enriching and entertaining.

Afterwards I went to meet Blanca and her boyfriend Marco. Blanca is a friend of my friend Aldo and he connected us today. She is a local who loved more than half of her life abroad and now working on a project building a house and hoping to sell it. She is doing it herself. Hiring workers, electricians etc. and telling the what to do. Well, she is originally a psychologist and has a PhD in history. While Marco her boyfriend is Italian who arrived here 9 years ago after other 10 years in London. He opened a coffee shop and also fixes coffee machines and gives Barista courses. We had a few drinks while we got to know each other. Lovely people with kind hearts. We discussed a lot about the pandemic and how each of us coped with it. I believe we have the conclusion that life somehow needs to go on.

Life is a journey where we breath, eat, move and do other things that make us human like love, connect and interact. I see no beauty in extending life per se without all the beautiful things that we can experience in it. What is the point of having a society eating, sleeping and breathing but having no pleasure, no movement and no experiences? A short full life is in my opinion superior to a long boring and depressing life.

AdhaMexiCovid 04: Tales from Oaxaca

Tuesday 17.02.2021.. time flies..
It is exactly 8:00 am and I am waiting in a parking lot for my carsharing ride. Joel was a bit late but he was nice. We both waited for the third passenger. Imagine this with me. A car with a couple came. The guy cmae first with the luggage while the girl stayed in the car. It seemed like masculine announcement of possession! Then he went back to the car to bring his lady, opened the door for her, she stepped off, and after a few steps walking together, he went on his knees to tie her shoes!! I am not sure if this is an act of gentlemanhood or if he simply didn’t want her to bend in public. I understand both motives, in a world where both being a gentleman /a proper lady are forgotten arts of living.

Four hours of driving in the desert among mountains, hills and valleys covered with dispersed cactus trees. Then we were in Oaxaca. The trip was paused here to watch the champions league games. I had both games playing simultaneously on two screens while I enjoyed a typical Oaxaqueño lunch. My afternoon was chilled afterwards. I met Chris from Couchsurfing. A half french, half finnish born in Sweden. He has been traveling Mexico for a year. We spend a few hours around the city eating mediocre cake, tasty street food and looking for some night-time action. We had no luck. Who parties on Tuesday?? Nobody in Oaxaca!

Wednesday 18.02.2021

Given the slow pandemic life, I decided to go with a guided tour, hoping to learn a thing or two, see a thing or two, and talk with person or two. It was evident from the beginning that I was the only non spanish-speaker. Our young guide was repeating everything in a bad English for me. I actually understood the same amount if he spoke English or Spanish. I told him to just go on in Spanish and I will be happy with whatever I get.
Our first stop was Monte Albany. A historical site with ruins dating around 300 BC. The ruins are not really magnificent in themselves. For me the stories around them are more interesting. I drifted with my imagination to how the normal life was in these times. Not hero’s or history makers. Just he regular hi!and like you and me who love, hate, fear and hope.

“Dear Rosa

I am sad I had to leave you in the small pyramid after our last kiss on the monkey day. I am even sadder that this might be our last kiss in case I win the flaming ball game tomorrow. As you know, it is a decisive game. If we win, we will be honored and sacrificed to the gods by our tribe. We will then be Immortal in the next life. If we lose, we will be enslaved by the opponents. It would be a shame. My heart, eternally loving you, is now ready to be placed on the sacred golden plate.
In either case, in glory or in chains, I love you till my last breath.

Yours, always,
Antonio”

***

The day included visits to a pottery workshops, a carpet workshop and a fabrique for Mezcal, a typical alcoholic beverage. I have been to similar workshops in many countries so my day in this aspect was not remarkable. Here and there I socialized with the group.specizlly a Columbian couple who lived in Austria and speaks German and a Chilean couple who happened to be doctors as well. For lunch we stopped at a local buffet for typical food. Giovanni told me he also does not eat pork because he gets an allergic reaction from it. We both ordered the same beef soup. It was delicious but I doubted that the pieces of fat swimming there might be pork fat. I just finished my soup and didn’t give the matter much attention. When we left the restaurant, Giovanni reacted allergically with red spots on his skin! My doubts were confirmed.

We also so a hug tree that is around 40m wide and also a similar height. Estimated to be 2000 years old, It is not the biggest, neither the oldest in the world. Still magnificent.

I concluded the day with a fine dinner in Zandunga restaurant. The consistency of the chicken was unmatchable in my experience. I felt peaceful and content. Tomorrow I fly to Chiapas!