It drizzled on that French-speaking city, You sipped the wine and called me unlucky, Curiosity crowned your head like a halo, And empathy sneaked into your eyes.
How do I feel? I spoke of new days, And of my plan to build a lighthouse, You dismissed my altruism, Proposed I embrace the ego, And I said yes. You promised to remember me.
Oppressed by my ideas, Almost freed by your promise, I left you and rushed into the night, With the moon, full, witnessing.
Between both lands, My heart does sway. A conscious mind, Yet I yearn to play. Rooted in heaven, But the soul breaks away.
Let’s not long ponder Over disparities of the facade. Leave the magic within, Colorful in the shade.
With the other ten thousand children of the neighbourhood, We used to run about.
We’d tease Mr. Ali at his old shop, He’d pretend to chase us with a broom. We had no fear.
School was fun, with friends and games, Our teacher Fatima knew all our names.
Chalk, and dreams, of a world beyond conflict, beyond the suffering and screams.
Today, the sky was sunny, I was on the balcony admiring our olive tree. But in a flash, the sky roared.
I felt really scared.
I have already lost half of my friends. Maryam, Peter and Mahmoud. Under the rubbles of their homes.
Maryam, the little artist, with colors in her heart, Her canvas remains blank, torn apart.
Peter, was going to be the next priest, of our 800 years old church, now he lies under the altar.
Mahmoud, the future doctor, who promised to heal, now, is just remains.
Maryam is killed. Peter is killed. Mahmoud is killed, The olive tree is killed, and the church is shattered. It was all just too much.
Now I am also gone.
Five thousand dreams, now whisper in the wind. In what world is this fine?
Why don’t they care about me? Peter was actually blond, They say his great-grandmother was French, with sky-blue eyes. Would it have helped, if we had shown the world Peter’s face, instead of mine?
I guess it is too late now. We are all playing in heaven.
Mom, it is so nice here. Serene, no cries. Nobody hates us for no reason, and nobody is discriminated. We are all loved and cared for. Equally.
I thought I saw you the other day. It took me a few seconds to remember that you are no more among us. Reincarnation? Or probably in some other dimension? Shining your timid smile in another universe. While slightly tilting your head. Ahh, your smile, your weapon, your fishing net, a gatherer of obsessed hearts. Yet, you departed. With this exquisite collection of trophies Leaving a multitude of men: Incapable of love
Nothing beats a good cup of coffee. Probably this is one of the best perks of holidays, that you can enjoy the tranquility of a good cup of coffee without worrying about what’s next. I had that cup of coffee in a really good roastery close to the hotel and planed my day. The first stop was a Japanese sweets-company, Toraya”. There I had lunch and tasted again the traditional sweet beans pancake. The food here looks always good. Here I quote Tanizaki from the current book I am reading “It has been said of Japanese food that it is a cuisine to be looked at rather than eaten. I would go further and say that it is to be meditated upon, a kind of silent music evoked by the combination of lacquerware and the light of a candle flickering in the dark.”. Involving beans in desert was novel to me as well and it seems common here. I actually really like it and it is going to be on the long list of things I will miss from Japan. It is raining. I took a taxi to the teamLab Planets museum, a museum for an immersive experience in artwork installations. A lot of people lining up. Once entered, the patch of visitors lined up in organised lines looking at a screen giving us instructions about the experience. Somehow looked like “Squid games”. The instructions told us that we will have to take off our shoes and socks since we will be walking in water sometimes. Also if you had a skirt, your underwear might be seen since some floors are mirrors! It reminded me of a favourite joke of my late father that I can only tell you in person 😅. So We entered the venue! First we had to climb a slope with water flowing down. It seemed like a smart way to wash the feet of all the visitors before going bare feet into the museum. At the end of the slope there was this kind of water fall falling from the ceiling. I felt the excitement. Everywhere is lit with the minimal lighting. This goes well with what I am reading now “In Praise of Shadows”. I felt I was on the verge of a new experience, and I was not mistaken. So the whole experience was divided into halls. The first hall was a black room with two doors, one for entrance and one for exit. The floor is covered by beanbags, so you can not walk straight. You step somewhere and this shifts the structure of the beanbags. Since many people pass through the room simultaneously, the pressure distribution becomes very dynamic depending on other people around you, and this is the point. It is about the effect on each step you take on your progress as well as on the others around you. I caught myself laughing out of joy. Then we went through black dark corridors with dim lights and with surround music to the next hall. All walls, ceiling and floors were covered by mirrors, and hanging room the ceiling were strips of LED lights that changed colour in an amazing sequence. All this was accompanied by orchestrated music to fit the patterns. I was impressed. The whole installation felt surreal, somehow like Superman’s Kryptonite from the 1978 version (sorry young boys!). I sat in a corner of the installation and kept on watching. The whole mirrors thing makes you reflect a dozen times and this somehow was humbling. The next hall was filled with creamy water till the middle of your leg. On the surface of the water were colourful projections that included various swimming fish as well as abstract colourful patterns. This experience was also kind of surreal, somehow like an LSD trip! The next room was less significant. It was filled with huge balloons either resting on the ground or hanging from the ceiling or attached to the walls. The light of the room changed probably randomly to change the ambiance. The following hall was both simple but touching. It was a dome with mirror floor! On the doom was projected a vast space of blackness filled with all sorts and sizes of flowers. The flowers flew in countless shapes, numbers, and forms. Visitors were asked to lie on the mirror floor and enjoy the experience that was accompanied with mysterious space music. Here, I don’t know why, I felt emotional. I laughed a bit, then I got waves of sadness. This installation has touched something quiet distant inside me. I am not really aware what it was. Then there were two more exhibitions outdoor that I found less impressive. If you are interested in seeing these rooms, check this video below, of course you will be neither immersed nor impressed 🙂
After the exhibition I went shopping in the Ginza district since it was raining and cold. I managed to checkout a couple of small art galleries as well. I ended the first half of the day with a wagyu-steak dinner. It was delicious but a less than my expectations.
***
In the evening I went to another Latin club, Cafe Leon. I found mostly older people and only a few young ladies. I chatted a little with the owner and his friend in Spanish (both from Peru). Then I danced a few bachata songs. The level was quiet low, except of one young Japanese lady that had the moves. We had a good connection, which was noticed by my new Peruvian friend David. When I went back to my seat and sat beside David, he told me to go “get” that girl since she was “ripe” and an easy catch 😂. I told him I was not interested which shocked him and he showed a hugely disappointed face. Exactly like the GIF below and said “Cleopatra is crying in her tomb!”, I burst laughing.
I chatted with him a bit more and he suggested me to go to Okinawa, the “Hawaii of Japan”. I asked a few more things and got excited about some beach time in this trip. So I decided to include it in my plan. I soon left to go to El Cafe Latino since I knew that there will be a busier party there, and there was. A looot of Latinos make me feel home somehow. Shortly later I found “David” entering the cafe to my surprise hehe. We are almost friends now.
Dance, dance, dance. for my heart mirrors every turn of yours, Swiftly glide through space, Spreading elegance and captivating smiles like charity that makes us poorer
A shining beauty in the shadows of Tokyo, witnessed by your admiring crowd. With unmistakable passion, your presence is clear and loud.
But they all seem to fail, To see what’s beyond the veil. I can see and I can tell. But … well..
In an early Saturday hour, it was just me and the cobblestones, an empty old town. One lonely goose in the river.
It is the farmers’ market today. I bought tulips from the oldest woman. I smelled them. I smiled. I quivered.
It was then, I thought of you. I knew we won’t be two, if you never show up, if you keep on hiding in the future.
In case, we don’t fall in love forever, and our hearts of petals keep on flying apart, blown everywhere by the indecisive winds, I will love the thought of you.
And while waiting for eternity, let kindness prevail, in our fragmented stories: unique and unmatched they pave our paths, like Cobblestones!
Here I go.. Here I wander.. Looking for a moment, and a missing answer.. Will we ever fill the void?.. Is it time to surrender?
In the tiny room in Nairobi
I booked my flight to Nairobi 4 days ago. Planing does not make sense in these times of uncertainty. I needed to travel.. I needed to travel far.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my life. I love where I am living, and I enjoy what I am doing. I have been blessed by being constantly exposed to sensible souls, brilliant minds and remarkable personalities. However, we frequent travelers are cursed. We crave for the new. I crave.. I crave for a change. New destinations bring new destinies. New changes that, if you allow, could alter your being. Well, it often happens also when you are not willing to allow it. I didn’t really choose Kenya. It just happened. A combination of a reasonable ticket price, reasonable COVID restrictions for travelers, and the ease with which I could enter the country.
But what am I doing here? I don’t know. I just wanted to expose myself to the universe again and see what comes my way. I have always been fascinated by the concept of “initiative”. Someone starts something. It needs momentum and energy. It requires courage and readiness to fail. Whether it is planning an event, approaching a charming person on the street or just taking a new step. Introducing energy into a system usually generates some beautiful Turbulence: life. Serendipity, a beautiful word that sounds like gentle, soft kisses.
This quote is also from “The Forty Rules of Love”
In this trip, I am hoping to encounter and challenge some of my fears. I am hoping to think extensively over the views of extended African sands. I am hoping to clean my heart from the entitlement and greed that creeps over it from luxurious privileged high standard living. My companion on this trip is a re-read; “The Forty Rules of Love” by Elif Shafak. I read this book a decade ago, and it has changed many of my perceptions in life.
I landed early on the 2nd of January. Everything was smooth given my online Visa, COVID19-Vaccination certificate, and negative PCR test, I uber-ed my way to the Airbnb room which was in a quiet fancy neighborhood full of residential compounds surrounded by walls and having security guards on the gates. Sheila received me, showed me the tiny room, as well as the gym and swimming pool that belong to the building. Being in Africa, you come back to the reality that in most of the world things are not perfect. This is not the case in Switzerland, where perfection is constantly aimed at. Here the water tap is leaking unless you use higher power. If you don’t look at the street while walking, you are sure to fall.
I had a light itching that I attributed to my self-diagnosed dust allergy. So I thought I pass by the pharmacy and get myself antihistamines. While checking out I found out that the price is around 2500 shillings, equaling around 20 euros. I thought, how can the regular citizen afford such medicine.. What about antibiotics? You probably need to sell your kidney.. Wait.. What do you do if you need to treat your kidney?
I slept a few hours, went to a relatively fancy restaurant for dinner, and then headed to watch Liverpool game in a mall. People here are nice and friendly. They also speak decent english in general. In my first day, I have a good feeling about this country and its people.
Gu gu gu..te- te- te- nnnnnn.. Mooooorgen.. doktor.. I am so glad you are here.. I have traveled long and have been waiting for an appointment.. I came here with fear.. I fear to stay the same.. With my thoughts just for me.. I fear to speak so slow, that no one wants to hear.. They all think I am fading.. my whole seems to disappear.. Year after year, I worked like a machine.. even when all retired.. I went on for 10 more winters.. I just couldn’t leave.. I could have gone to Cuba.. I could have sailed the seas.. I could have built a villa.. I could have.. i could have.. I could have.. Now I am stuck in myself.. with words as many as none.. I have lost the way to folks.. I have lost the meaning of all.. Please don’t think I am stupid.. the brain works faster than my tongue.. I used to scold the kids.. I used to sing and hum.. I used to do it all.. before my health was gone.. I know it is the end.. things won’t be the same.. I know the days are different.. that hope is rather lame.. I won’t ask for much.. it is little what I need.. I just would like a look.. of patience and of respect for whom I once was.. I will suffer, for sure, alone.. Acknowledgement would be fine..
