It is Thursday the 25th of December. A relatively sunny day. I decided to leave Jakarta, destination is Yogyakarta where I can visit the Borobodour Temple, the biggest Buddhist temple in the world. All the tickets are booked, planes and trains! So I decided to take the hitchhiking experience!
Nenad and I woke up around 10:30, we had a relaxe coffee in the terrace of this building where we were joined later by his neighbour, Bjorn, Bjorn’s father and son as well! The three generations! The father is half British half American, a geologist that has been looking for gold for more than 25 years in Indonesia. He found copper instead!
Bjorn has traveled for 10 years living in different countries after growing up in Germany! He then got married and settled in Jakarta since 5 years! He and his brother made a film company. The son, Gabriel, one year old, was too young to talk to and therefore I don’t know much about him :D!
I went with Nenad to the mall for a quick breakfast and some shopping for my long trip. Yogya (short for Yogyakarta) is about 500 km far. It can take about 12 hours to reach due to the poor roads and the traffic jam! The Christmas followed by a weekend makes a great time for holiday and Indonesians seem to travel a lot inside the country to enjoy it. Indonesia is huge. From east to west it is bigger than Europe! I heard it has 7000 islands.
Nenad chose a spot at the entrance of the highway! Wrote a sign that I would hold and told me which number plates to target with my big smile. He said "you choose the car and not the car that chooses you!"
I started my mission at 1:16 pm. I always calculate the time needed to find a car. (Last time in Germany it was 5 minutes). Cars passed by, many smiled at me. Many pointed to their fellow passengers and laughed. It seems to be a very unusual event here. Some good English speaking young people wished me luck and apologized for not having the same road! One young woman offered to give me a ride to the airport, then asked to take a selfie with me and my sign to post on her social networks. I wonder what would be the caption for that photo!
An hour and a half passed by, I saw a car with 3 young men looking at me, they seemed to be in conflict whether to pick me up or not. They passed by and 10 minutes later, they came again and stopped to offer me a ride!
They are not heading to Yogya, but to Bandung. I agreed since it is closer and I was getting hopeless and bored. From the first sight, my helpers didn’t look that manly. The way they talk, they sit and the way they echoed some songs that were playing in the car. However, I came to know and observe that this is common in south east Asia and does not necessarily reflect sexual interests. The three of them are in the banking business and the oldest, 44 years old is the Vice President of some bank! They were super friendly. We had some few chats till I noticed that the oldest, call him Mr. G. is touching my arm a lot. I grew suspicious but then attributed my suspicions to my few years of living in Europe where people don’t touch each other. My doubts were fed by busting Mr. G. looking at my body the way we, straight men, sneak the looks at women’s boobs! And I now understand how weird this is!
After a couple of hours with high traffic, we stopped for some rest, a snack and they needed to pray. Mr. G. insisted on paying my lunch saying that I was their guest. I appreciated this gesture and the Indonesian hospitality. By the time we finished food, it was time for the sunset prayer. We went all to the beautiful mosque that I didn’t expect to be that nice in a gas station on the highway!
He showed me the Quran in the car. Since his driver drives him to work every morning and he has like 45 minutes to go and come back, he spends this time reading the Quran. We talked a bit about my research and they told me that there are some villages suffering from Epilepsy in Indonesia and that the government made many campaigns to raise the awareness and integrate these patients in the society since they are stigmatized.
The guys invited me to spend the night with them in Bandung and take the train in the early morning to Yogya. Bandung is famous of its cuisine and fashion outlet stores. They call it "Paris of Java". I thought, why not! On my phone, I checked flights from Bandung to Yogya and found a flight next day afternoon for a fair price, 40 euros! Since it wasn’t purchasable by credit card, I asked Mr. G. if he can book it for me with his online banking and I pay him in cash. He agreed without hesitation.
We arrived to the hotel, it is raining and dark. The hotel is nice, called "hummingbird". Welcoming drinks and cookies and it has the "hello kitty" feeling. Creativity is something I noticed in Indonesia and Malaysia quiete many times. The other two guys went to one room while Mr. G. and I would share the other room. He paid both rooms with his credit card. I noticed that there is one bed. It is huge, bigger than the queen size. But still! I tried not to be paranoid. After showering, I found Mr. G. on his praying carpet with a hat they believe it is somehow related to religion. We went all together for dinner in some very local restaurant in the hill with a city view. We sat on the floor and we ate rice with our hands as the tradition in this place is.
They invited me again for the dinner. Then we went home to sleep. Mr. G. already finished his rituals and took his place in the bed. I did the same and kept a great distance. Then things started to get not so funny. He said "you can come to the middle of the bed". That was it! I turned my face to him and said "You don’t only like women, do you?". He shyly replied "Not only!". I thought "Shit". I told him that I only like women and that I am not interested in anything. He seemed to understand. But then asked me "at least don’t give me your back". I said "I always sleep on my right side, it is sunnah" it was funny enough for me. He said "we can exchange sides". I then became very uncomfortable and communicated this to him clearly. Lost all the sleep in my mind and started thinking of possible consequences and scenarios. I had to prepare the violent program in my brain, just in case. 5 minutes later, I told him that I will sleep on the floor in my sleepin bag. He felt guilty and apologized many times. He is a good person I believe. But I didn’t like this. That night I half-slept for only 4 hours or so! Ache in my muscles from the cold ceramic floor. In the morning there was actually no tension. We discussed last night clearly like any two adults. He told me when he started to like men, after his divorce. He liked only one man before me he said. He actually has a girlfriend now. He had never had sex with a man but he likes touching them. We discussed love! And human relationships in general. It sounds strange but it was an enriching conversation that I was comfortable to have with him. He was a bright successful man that companies seemed to chase him for his services. He offered to accompany me to Yogya! Then later he offered to travel to Bali as well! Finally he said he will come to Kuala Lumpur to meet me in my final distinction. He was worried about me traveling alone! He wanted to "take care of me". I told him that I don’t want him to come.
We had breakfast all together in the fancy restaurant of the hotel. We discussed religion and how we both saw other religions! We held different views and they seemed to reconsider!
We went all to Friday payer in a nearby mosque. Mosques are full here and they told me that the majority of Indonesians are observant and practicing. I saw also all kinds of girls go to the mosque. Many without scarf and many didn’t look particularly Muslim. I think I liked that. Probably because I feel religion should not have one form or template.
I offered to pay Mr. G. All what I owe him. Probably around 100 euros. He refused strictly which I expected! It is strange to accept all these givings knowing that the guy is attracted to me. I didn’t want to abuse him. However, people are free to make their own choices. I also believe we should allow people to express their feelings as long as this doesn’t harm any of us! I remember the words of my friend Nadja: "We have responsibility towards people who love us".
They drove me to the very tiny airport of Bandung that is inside the city! Chaotic and crowded. In its small size, it competes only with Maastricht airport in my experience.
I boarded my Lionair flight. You just get out the gate and walk to your plane, no stairs and no bus. At the door of each plane stands one guy that you can ask about the destination! "Yogya?" he said yes! It felt more like a bus terminal!
Mr. G. Kept texting me in the next few days friendly non-awkward texts that I replied to only one of them. I decided I will cut my contacts with them and hope the best for them.
That was my time in Bandung, I have grown up a bit in these 24 hours.