Thailand 2025 Archives - Adham's Blog

Thai Days #4: Side Mirrors, Side Roads, and Side Steps in Phuket

The scene of a white man and a Thai woman is something you see daily. Often, the man is older. I personally don’t judge these men who seek feminine energy in times of scrambled gender roles and energies. These women, too, are probably seeking something and it doesn’t always seem to be money. I am yet to interview one of these nice Thai ladies. So far, my contact with them has been limited to being catcalled: “You are sooo handsaaaaa.” Thai people like to stretch words, drop consonants at the end, and speak in what sounds like a high pitch. It was our national sport, Pedrito and I, to immitate them the whole day, untill the commander a.k.a Arm, asked us: “why do you guys speak like this?”. Not much later did Arm recognize the pattern which to native Thai speakers goes unnoticed.

With Pedrito and Arm, we spent three nights in Phuket, starting by renting a car, which meant I had to drive on the other side of the road, like in England. It was my first time, and on numerous occasions I almost ended up in the wrong lane or even on the wrong road altogether. I even knocked off another car’s side mirror, simply because I wasn’t used to calculating the car’s far dimension on the left side. Thankfully, Arm and I could just clip the guy’s mirror back into place.

Also thankfully, I didn’t cause an accident despite the sudden things that appear on Thai roads. And even more thankfully, Pedrito didn’t cause an accident either, despite his Balkan-style aggressive driving, which seems to be the case regardless of which side of the road, or which side of the world, he’s on.

These risky behaviours, like driving in Thailand, come with rewards. They allow you to discover restaurants in the middle of nowhere, or resorts in the middle of nowhere, with maybe ten guests and coconut trees stretching endlessly on both sides. After getting burned by the sun that is far too close to the equator, we engaged in other activities: Pedrito teaching me jiu-jitsu drills on the beach, or us trying to knock coconuts down from palm trees by throwing older coconuts at them. After several failed attempts, the resort staff brought a ladder and got us the freshest coconuts I have ever had.

Our time in Phuket was split between eating (Arm does an excellent job recommending food), driving to places (Arm does a horrible job with logistics), being on the beach, and attending bachata parties. After the first night of dancing bachata, the local organiser noticed us and asked if he could use us to promote his next event the following day: “Three guest European dancers” aka, us.

There were numerous Russian women in the dancing community, and I didn’t see a single Russian man. The parties were fun, and I used my wingman skills in the hope of facilitating romantic connections. “I haven’t felt like this for a long time” was the feedback a few days later. Feedback that thrills any loyal member of the International Wingmen Club. Our next stop is Koh Tao Island, or Koh Taaaaaaaaaoo.

Thai Days #3: Napalm Fish, Motorbikes, and Muay Thai in Dangerous Bangkok

In a nice Thai restaurant, Arm asked Pedrito and me if we “can handle” the spicy fish he was about to order. Our sweet toxic masculinity jumped in to say, “Of course!” The fish came decorated with green peppercorns and baby chili with some sweet and sour sauce. Pedrito gave up after a few bites; for me it was delicious (and spicy), but my ego refused to admit that it was probably a better idea to delegate the fishy-task to Arm. What I also learned, is that you should not drink soda after stuffing your food with spicy food; the combination is more like a nuclear reaction, like a volcanic lava that tries to jump out in the form of reflux. Already on the walk after dinner, I felt that some of this napalm ended up in my lungs, making the top of my chest burn. Luckily, the bachata party afterward helped digest the fish and its friends inside my stomach.

The few days we spent in Bangkok had an unbreakable routine. We had a daily gym session, ate Pad Thai, which is THE typical Thai dish, had a daily late-night back massage, and ended the day with pancakes from food stalls with banana or mango. Between these essential activities, we explored and discovered crazy Bangkok, which reminds me of Cairo in many aspects. Having almost the same population as Cairo but spread out on 3x the area of Cairo, which makes Cairo more crowded. Nevertheless, it was very crowded, and we sometimes had to take motorbikes as a means of transportation instead of taxis since they are much faster and go through traffic like a hair in dough (Arabic expression). Even though, we barely managed to be on time for most of our appointments. Pedrito said that we were “playing with time” and I thought we were rather playing with destiny taking these motorbikes.

Thailand is the homeland of Muay Thai, a combat kickboxing sometimes named “the Art of Eight Limbs” since you can use fists, elbows, knees, and shins. Pedrito had tried it in the past and was determined to buy original Muay Thai shorts. Which looked like fancy underwear boxers with golden inscriptions. We also went to a Muay Thai event in the main stadium for these events, which was, for me, a highlight of our time in Bangkok. The event featured a few fights, mostly between international fighters. The fighters started by doing rituals in the corners of the ring and then started the actual fight, divided into 3 rounds. At the beginning, the level was good until we saw the later fighters who triggered many WOWs. In particular, there was a fight between “Mohammed” from Iran and a tall black “Christ” from the USA. It is difficult to believe that this fight was not staged, hehe. Mohammed finished Christ quickly with a knockout (nothing intended here). One fight was between two Thai fighters who initially looked like kids with their small bodies. However, once the fight started, you could easily see that this combat sport was born here. They were agile, and their punches were scary fast. This exciting fight ended up with a draw. The last fight was between a Thai champion and another from Taiwan. As exciting as it was, it lasted only less than a minute, where the Thai fighter did an air double kick with his knee ending in the bottom of the poor Taiwanese’s chin, who immediately fell to the ground, followed by a hurry of his trainer and the medics. The Taiwanese fighter was carried out in a wheelchair. This fight concluded the event that was very well-organized and very entertaining. Also the presenter was very charismatic in the “Let’s get ready to rumble!” style.

Bangkok treated us nicely. Piotry does not want to go home. We ate a lot, danced bachata with the locals, and went to jazz events with Arm and his friend Pete. I think we have experienced multiple levels of what Bangkok can offer. We also went for custom-tailored linen suits, which I am excited to see how they come out. Our next stop is Phuket, where we hope to tickle the sandy beaches, get tanned, and eat more Pad Thai and Roti pancakes.

Thai Days #2: The Holies and Unholies of Bangkok

Jetlagged, we woke up around 14:30 pm and rushed to the street for breakfast, thinking we lost half of the day. Khaosan Road is a main party street in Bangkok, crazy at night but so peaceful and quiet during the day. Pedrito and I had a serene breakfast while I contemplated his not-so-often-smiling face. I told him that today, I will have a smile-counter for him to have some statistics. This moment of serenity was not an indicator of the next 12 hours in this crazy city.

We had no plans and no to-do. We started walking randomly in one direction until a tuk-tuk offered us a tour for 40 Bhat (which is around 1.25 Swiss dollars). As Piotr (we also call him Pedrito) said when I asked him about the program, “He can take us where the fuck he wants”. Our first step was a tiny temple with some golden Buddhas. After 30 seconds of looking at the first Buddha temple, you ask yourself, “Now what?”. At this golden moment, a middle-aged Thai man who looked like he had a decent job entered and did some bowing, then came to us to strike up a small conversation. He said we were lucky to be in this temple because it opens one day per year, that Thai people come there when they start a new business or get married to get blessings, that he drove 13 hours for his brother’s wedding, and asked about the program of our tour and said that the planned visit to a textile “factory” was lucky since they had a promotion for custom-tailored suits. He wished us luck and went away while we took our tuk-tuk to the factory, which turned up to be a regular tailor shop with high prices, and the whole thing is a scam. Our tuk-tuk driver confessed that the tailor shop gives them coupons for the gas station to fill the tuk-tuk with gas for the whole day. Our next stop was a “tourist information center” which also turned out to be a scam. The woman lied when I asked her whether this “center” was affiliated with the government. When I said, i don’t want to book any tours, and I just want information,” she said something in Thai that I imagine meant, “Get the F* out, you cheap tourist.”. Our next stop was a Big Buddha temple. Pedrito reached the top of his enthusiasm when he said in a monotonic voice, “Yeah. It is big”.

We then took a boat trip in the canals of Bangkok. For me it was a movie in the cinema. Passing by houses of different economic statuses. Some poor ones that barely have some metal as a roof, and just beside them are glass-walled lofts or villas. It was very interesting to watch people doing random things in their decks; most of the time I had no idea what the person was doing. Some of the houses were shops selling unidentifiable things. This trip triggered a few philosophical conversations between me and Pedrito about the spectrum of human happiness. I pondered how many of them, probably poor, seemed to have a very slow pace of life that was difficult to imagine being stressful. Check this youtube viedeo about the boat tour.

After the tour we walked around, again randomly in any direction. Which took us to a live music concert with a local market, then we found ourselves in a flower market, which is a whole street selling flowers. I assumed it is since Buddhist people use flowers a lot in their temples and offerings.

Crazy things happen all the time. Timing is mostly crazier. The moment Pedrito and I were waiting to cross a street, a motorbike came fast and hit another motorbike with a couple that wanted to turn. Since the second one was at an angle, the second motorbike was kicked away, and the couple that was sitting on it flew in the air and landed on the asphalt. A surreal scene for us. We rushed to the scene to see if help is needed. The girl on the floor was holding her stomach, but nobody seemed to be badly injured. The locals took care of the situation.

We spent the rest of the evening in our party street, where we ate dinner twice, once on a rooftop, and got a full-body Thai massage. Khaosan Road started showing us crazy things, with ladyboys dancing erotically in a bizarre scene. Plenty of food stalls, and many of them selling barbequed insects and scorpions. Grilled crocodile meat! Many offers for sex-shows and etc. Even the wrist bands they sell had bizarre writings like “I rape gay retards”, and “I love irish cunt”. It was easy to conclude that this street is exactly what was meant in all the holy books when God sent his wrath down upon the earth.

The maximum smile from Pedrito

“An electrician’s wet dream” as Pedrito says

Thai Days #1: Freezing Beijing and the Rose Petal Toilet

The trip

A bald Polish gentleman, with a taste for cigars and women with cigar-colored skin, was waiting for me in Milan with a slight flu. A cheaper flight from Malpensa is just another excuse to pass through this kingdom of beauty: Italy. Probably, if you add all the costs, the trip from Zurich would have cost the same. But life can also be measured by the number of times you’ve been to Italy. We took an expensive Uber with Simone, who entertained us with a lively conversation during the 100+ euro ride to the airport. Both flying with Air China, we discovered that Piotr had booked a different and shorter transit through Chengdu instead of Beijing. I tried to convince the check-in clerks to book me on his flight, but my attempt to charm them was met by “I can’t do it in the system”. I knew that Air China would probably be of no help to a privileged person who wanted to change a flight just to be with his friend. The customer support would most likely pay more attention to whatever fraction of the 1,000,000,000 Chinese people are flying today.

I spent my time on the plane watching a Chinese comedy, an Indonesian super-hero movie, and relocating the head of my sleeping Italian neighbor from my shoulder. Aware that his girlfriend is in the seat in front of him, I repeated “I am not your girlfriend”, while he kissed my shoulder and gave smiles and bites in the air (grrrr), without consciousness. Nevertheless, I found the situation cutely funny, hehehe.

The trip comes at the end of my work in my previous clinic before I move to a new hospital for a next rotation. Piotr and I are bachata dancers, and we will be joined later in the journey with our also-dancer Thai friend “Arm”, whose real name is not really “Arm” and we don’t really know his name. With these two gentlemen, I plan to tickle the sun, engage my taste buds with the rich culinary culture of the East and dance with some cigar-skinned ladies (while hoping they are, in fact, ladies without cigars… hehehe, sorry for the cheap joke).

15 hours in Beijing

I planned a 15-hours transit in Beijing to discover the city on my way to Thailand. Well, I didn’t. As soon as I left the metro station downtown to the street, I was hit by the -3 degrees cold, I was not prepared for. Within a minute, I rushed back to the station and looked for plan B. It took a couple of hours. Back and forth to the street to hope for a taxi or a “Didi” = (Chinese Uber). I finally managed to go to a 24-hours SPA where you can relax, eat, drink, play video games, get massages, steam room, sleeping pods, for 299 Yuan which a bit more than 30 swiss francs with all-you-can-eat fruits, ice cream, and popcorn and all you can drink. When I entered the spa, I had to remove my shoes at the entrance, strip, shower, and they gave me one-time underwear and pajamas. In this transition, I saw way more than I wanted (which is zero) of naked Asian men. I am indeed writing these words here inside a steam room decorated with essential oils that force body stress out of your body like an exorcist forcing a jinn out of a possessed aunt. Inside were also chess sets. I spent the next couple of hours indulging in treating my body. The place was posh! They even threw rose petals in the toilet, which you come and shit on (somehow dark).
In China, WhatsApp is blocked, so is Instagram messaging, Telegram, most of Google services are useless. No ChatGPT. I had to use the Chinese DeepSeek as my alternative source of directions and information. Getting a ride with the local app Didi was not successful for me. An eSIM from Hong Kong for the day with unlimited internet costed less than $2, so I could have connection with the non-Chinese world.

During the few hours inside the spa, it snowed. So I experienced Beijing with a different view as well. I took the metro to the airport, where I spent the next flight to Bangkok sleeping. In general, I was positively surprised by Beijing. For some moments I thought that Chinese people would have no reason to live in Europe or the West since their life in China is probably better. The transportation system is very efficient. What also caught my attention was the high sense of security. A security guard in each metro car! In each flight as well, there is a security person.

I arrived to Bangkok, took a “Grab” which is the Thai Uber and went to the hotel where Piotr was still sick. Although it was 3:30 am, I went for a pad Thai to kick off the Thai days.