A dot at the end of the line.. start a new page.. put a dot after a letter.. flip a couple of pages.. and put another dot.. then reverse and ponder.. maybe you resume where you stopped.. and then release another dot.. and maybe you swing back and forth.. and wonder.. what if I stay with what I have got.. surrender.. i beg you not.. flip a few more pages.. and remember.. where you stopped.. or drop the book altogether.. and come to me.. I have lit the fire .. and washed the pot.. i will make your tea.. i will serve it hot.. we will sit apart.. in silence..
Give me a minute, I will dance again… I will smile at you.. I will share a story.. I will take you for dinner, and I will pay too.
Give me an hour, we will go for a walk.. We will breathe that fresh air by the river, we will eat grilled chestnuts.. We will laugh and talk..
Give me some more time, and I won’t save a dime. I will buy myself a ticket, I will buy you one too.. I am not too sad, I just don’t like farewell parties. I will have a few drinks and then slip away when nobody is watching.. “Oh.. He left. It was nice when he was here..”
Well, here is a memory to keep. I will tap on your shoulder, and caress your neck. Remember these touches, Unlike me, they are eternal.
It is not what they think.. I am not collecting much pleasure now. I am trying to leave bits of me behind. I don’t want to cease to exist. I don’t want you to forget.
Oh, I guess it is time.
I will put on my favorite socks with bicycle patterns I will ride my bicycle to that field with the blooming flowers I will take photos of the yellow ones.. at the time of the sunset.. Just like every spring, when I think they bloom to say:
A stare.. A tear.. A tear.. A tear.. * I have done nothing bad.. A tear.. A tear.. A tear.. * I love her very much.. – Don’t worry sir.. we will help you – You will get better A stare.. dries his tears… * I will trust you.
Gu gu gu..te- te- te- nnnnnn.. Mooooorgen.. doktor.. I am so glad you are here.. I have traveled long and have been waiting for an appointment.. I came here with fear.. I fear to stay the same.. With my thoughts just for me.. I fear to speak so slow, that no one wants to hear.. They all think I am fading.. my whole seems to disappear.. Year after year, I worked like a machine.. even when all retired.. I went on for 10 more winters.. I just couldn’t leave.. I could have gone to Cuba.. I could have sailed the seas.. I could have built a villa.. I could have.. i could have.. I could have.. Now I am stuck in myself.. with words as many as none.. I have lost the way to folks.. I have lost the meaning of all.. Please don’t think I am stupid.. the brain works faster than my tongue.. I used to scold the kids.. I used to sing and hum.. I used to do it all.. before my health was gone.. I know it is the end.. things won’t be the same.. I know the days are different.. that hope is rather lame.. I won’t ask for much.. it is little what I need.. I just would like a look.. of patience and of respect for whom I once was.. I will suffer, for sure, alone.. Acknowledgement would be fine..
On a day before today.. Early june or late in Mai.. I was walking on the way.. Where the angels used to stay..
She was there walking with me.. Many smiles in her pocket, and a poem in her wallet, and a lot of things to say..
Full of joy I saw her soul.. Walking, talking also joking.. Laughing louder than I do..
Curly curls in her hair.. Lovely earrings in her ear.. In her eyes there was a flare.. All the time I had to stare..
Then we wandered in the town.. Walking up and walking down.. Having many things to share.. Saying words to tell we care..
Then she pointed at the crowd.. People sitting in the garden.. Having fun and being loud..
“Wonder, how it is to be.. like the people that I see.. lame and boring little lives.. unlike you and unlike me..”
Well, of course my dear to-be.. We are pearls inside the sea.. Take my hands and walk with me.. Let’s go far let’s be free..
At this moment when we looked.. Both the hands and eyes are locked..
All the movements came to slow.. Scented breeze began to flow.. Lovely music in the show.. Just one thing I had to do.. Kiss those lips the way I know..
