The scene of a white man and a Thai woman is something you see daily. Often, the man is older. I personally don’t judge these men who seek feminine energy in times of scrambled gender roles and energies. These women, too, are probably seeking something and it doesn’t always seem to be money. I am yet to interview one of these nice Thai ladies. So far, my contact with them has been limited to being catcalled: “You are sooo handsaaaaa.” Thai people like to stretch words, drop consonants at the end, and speak in what sounds like a high pitch. It was our national sport, Pedrito and I, to immitate them the whole day, untill the commander a.k.a Arm, asked us: “why do you guys speak like this?”. Not much later did Arm recognize the pattern which to native Thai speakers goes unnoticed.
With Pedrito and Arm, we spent three nights in Phuket, starting by renting a car, which meant I had to drive on the other side of the road, like in England. It was my first time, and on numerous occasions I almost ended up in the wrong lane or even on the wrong road altogether. I even knocked off another car’s side mirror, simply because I wasn’t used to calculating the car’s far dimension on the left side. Thankfully, Arm and I could just clip the guy’s mirror back into place.
Also thankfully, I didn’t cause an accident despite the sudden things that appear on Thai roads. And even more thankfully, Pedrito didn’t cause an accident either, despite his Balkan-style aggressive driving, which seems to be the case regardless of which side of the road, or which side of the world, he’s on.
These risky behaviours, like driving in Thailand, come with rewards. They allow you to discover restaurants in the middle of nowhere, or resorts in the middle of nowhere, with maybe ten guests and coconut trees stretching endlessly on both sides. After getting burned by the sun that is far too close to the equator, we engaged in other activities: Pedrito teaching me jiu-jitsu drills on the beach, or us trying to knock coconuts down from palm trees by throwing older coconuts at them. After several failed attempts, the resort staff brought a ladder and got us the freshest coconuts I have ever had.
Our time in Phuket was split between eating (Arm does an excellent job recommending food), driving to places (Arm does a horrible job with logistics), being on the beach, and attending bachata parties. After the first night of dancing bachata, the local organiser noticed us and asked if he could use us to promote his next event the following day: “Three guest European dancers” aka, us.
There were numerous Russian women in the dancing community, and I didn’t see a single Russian man. The parties were fun, and I used my wingman skills in the hope of facilitating romantic connections. “I haven’t felt like this for a long time” was the feedback a few days later. Feedback that thrills any loyal member of the International Wingmen Club. Our next stop is Koh Tao Island, or Koh Taaaaaaaaaoo.
